Fetching Mr. Nas

THOSE three soldiers with red berets were standing menacingly. With guns in their hands, they battered the bedroom door of the Coordinating Minister of Defense and Security and Armed Forces Chief of Staff, General Abdul Haris Nasution. But the general, who was planned to be brought in front of President Sukarno that early morning, was nowhere to be seen.

The troops lost their minds. In no time, gunshots blazed into the air. One of the troops bombarded the door latch, firing bullets that grievously hit Ade Irma Suryani Nasution (5), Nasution's youngest daughter.

The short scene above depicts the infamous kidnapping attempt of General Nasution as shown in the Pengkhianatan G30S/PKI film (1984), which based its story on the government’s version of the history and was adapted from the research of historian Nugroho Notosutanto with investigator Ismail Saleh in Tragedi Nasional Percobaan Kup G 30 S/PKI di Indonesia (1968). To date, the movie has become a major reference to relive the ruthlessness of Tjakrabirawa Regiment, a special force unit that was tasked to guard President Sukarno. The unit was said to be responsible for the death of an innocent child, who lay on the ground that night, covered in blood while being embraced by her own mother, Johana Sunarti Nasution.

"I was very disappointed that everyone thought that she was shot. No soldier in his right mind would shoot a baby. It was extremely awful to shoot a child. Just think logically," said Soelemi, aged 81 years.

Soelemi was one of those three Tjakrabirawa soldiers. As a perpetrator, he claimed that many scenes in the Pengkhianatan G30S/PKI film were opposite of what actually happened that day.

"This testimony is my accountability regarding my involvement in the G30S incident," said Soelemi.

Enlisting as a Tjakrabirawa Troop

Soelemi had been a part of Tjakrabirawa since the beginning of the 1960s. Born in Purbalingga, Central Java, on 6 January 1940, Soelemi had developed a special interest in becoming a soldier. He admitted that he was largely motivated by the gallant appearance of the soldiers he often saw when he was young. Moreover, the emergence of several uprisings since the 1950s made Soelemi more determined to take part in defending his nation.

After passing a rigorous assessment, he finally attained the rank of private first class in the Army. His exceptional physical ability, intelligence, and shooting skill granted him a position in Battalion 454 Banteng Raiders, commonly abbreviated as BR 454.

Banteng Raiders is an elite force of the Indonesian Military Regional Command (KODAM) VII Diponegoro, Central Java. Aside from its qualification as anti-guerrilla, the elite force was also praised for their air traffic abilities and their strengths to combat both in the mountain and jungle terrains. During his service in Banteng Raiders unit, Soelemi was deployed to West Papua to take part in Operation Trikora.

As stated in Sedjarah Militer Kodam VII Diponegoro, Indonesian troops launched Operation Djataju as the last air infiltration on 14 August 1962. Six Hercules aircraft passed through the Dutch radar defense and deployed hundreds of paratroopers around Sorong, Kaimena, and Merauke. Also involved in this operation was the BR 454 (Crow Team) unit led by Major Untung Sjamsuri as the battalion commander.

Soelemi was then recruited by Tjakrabirawa Regiment in 1963 for his remarkable competencies. He recalled that the recruitment was resulting from the request made by Minister Commander of the Army Lieutenant General Ahmad Yani to Battalion 454 to send the best soldiers who would then be selected as members of Tjakrabirawa. From health, psychology, and military knowledge tests, Soelemi passed all the selection processes with flying colors.

"There were essentially three main qualifications needed to be chosen as a Tjakrabirawa member. We have to possess excellent combat power, high intelligence, and discipline," said Soelemi who joined as a part of Battalion I Kawal Kehormatan (KK) Tjakrabirawa. His first commander was Major Eli Ebram, before being succeeded by Lieutenant Colonel Untung Sjamsuri.

Battalion I and II KK were made up of soldiers from Banteng Raiders Army and the Marine Corps Forces Command (KKo AL), both assigned in Jakarta. This made Soelemi quite familiar with the surrounding area of the State Palace and Merdeka Palace. That time, Soelemi's duty mostly was to maintain the security of the area, particularly to monitor the guests visiting the Palace.  

<div class="quotes-center font-g text-align-center">"Every member of Tjakrabirawa was a skilled troop. They were mostly a prominent guerrilla fighter," – Sukarno</div>  

"Every time there was a visit from an honored guest, we picked them up in Kemayoran (Airport) and escorted them to the Palace," told Soelemi. One of the honored guests whom Soelemi can still remember was French President Charles de Gaulle during his visit in 1964.

Every Tjakrabirawa soldier was required to be agile and swift in carrying out their duty to protect the president and his family. Their mental and physical abilities were naturally trained into perfection. Furthermore, what they must possess was the complete dedication to Sukarno as the head of the country. They were indoctrinated to be loyal to the persona, conception, and notion of revolution demonstrated by Sukarno. This absolute loyalty was in accordance with the slogan of Tjakrabirawa "Dirgahayu Satyawira" which means "Long-live Loyal Soldier".  

As the team directly responsible for the safety of the President, it was inevitable that Tjakrabirawa members received various special treatments. Compared to the regular troops, they were known as the dapper soldiers. Food was never a concern for them as they got their rations from the Palace kitchen. The weaponry supplied for the team was also quite advanced. Soelemi remembered when he received a semi-automatic weapon made by the Soviet Union.

"For the sports, we had plenty of volley balls stored in the shed. We were also given sport shoes and apparels. They provided training for kung fu and karate for us, taught by instructors coming directly from China and Japan," said Soelemi.

The first-class facilities, according to Soelemi, inevitably created a gap and caused jealousy from the other troops.

The clear disparity between Tjakrabirawa and the other troop units was also confirmed by Sayidiman Suryohadiprodjo. At the time Sayidiman was the assistant officer of the Operation division in the Armed Force General Staff (SUAD)-2, with the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. In his autobiography titled Mengabdi Negara sebagai Prajurit TNI, Sayidiman mentions that Tjakrabirawa troops received special gears and treatments. The distinctive difference of treatment was further shown through their special red beret which was similar to the beret of the commando squad, in addition to their higher income than of the regular troops.

"Brigadier General Sabur (Tjakrabirawa's commander) made a fatal mistake by giving such contrasting treatments, as it would definitely spark hatred from the other troops towards Tjakrabirawa," explained Sayidiman.

Tjakrabirawa, on the other hand, was so focused on ensuring the safety of Mr. President. They were assigned closely around Sukarno, guarding from his residence to the places where he carried out his duty as the head of state. President Sukarno himself was quite proud with the performance of his guard squad. "Every member of Tjakrabirawa was a skilled troop. They were mostly prominent guerrilla fighters," praised Sukarno in his autobiography Bung Karno: Penyambung Lidah Rakyat Indonesia which was written by Cindy Adams.

It was also due to their pretext of protecting the president that dragged the Tjakrabirawa troops into the 1965 Incident.

G30S Operation Plan

Wednesday, 29 September 1965. That afternoon, First Lieutenant Doel Arief, the commander of company C Battalion I KK Tjakrabirawa suddenly summoned his company members, including Sergeant First Class Soelemi. The commander then instructed his troops to get ready to carry out a classified special military operation: to ensure the safety of President Sukarno from the threat of a coup d’état plotted by several generals. The order to protect the president, said Soelemi, was coming from Lieutenant Colonel Untung Sjamsuri, the commander of Battalion I KK Tjakrabirawa.

"Our country is in a dire situation. On 5 October there will be a coup launched by the Army, particularly during Sukarno’s speech. That means, their first target is to destroy the president's guard, Tjakrabirawa," said Soelemi recalling Doel Arief's words to the troops.

The only thought in Soelemi's mind was to obey the instruction. To him, the safety of President Sukarno was his utmost priority. "Since there was information that President Sukarno would be overthrown, we prepared ourselves. Our soul and life were dedicated entirely for his safety. We have to protect him at any cost," said Soelemi.

Every soldier of Tjakrabirawa was sworn to guarantee the security of the great leader of revolution, Sukarno. That was the doctrine of Tjakrabirawa that Soelemi held close to his heart, in addition to Soldier's Oath and Sapta Marga, the code of ethics of Indonesian National Armed Forces. Soelemi was determined to carry out the mission, which was later famous as the Thirtieth of September Movement, with its acronym Gestapu.

"Before Sukarno dies," continued Soelemi, "we have to die first. That was the pledge committed by every Tjakrabirawa soldier."

In Untung's scheme, Tjakrabirawa's task was to precede any movement made by the generals. They would force the Army's high-ranking officers to appear before President Sukarno to clarify their supposedly underground movement. To do this, they were divided into groups charged to fetch the generals. Each team was coordinated to undertake the operation on the night of 30 September 1965.

However, not all members of Tjakrabirawa were involved in the operation, as there were only around 60 out of 3,000 members of Tjakrabirawa present that night, who were mainly from Battalion I KK Tjakrabirawa. Along with two platoons of troops from Infantry Brigade 1/Jaya Sakti from Kodam Jaya, they joined the Pasopati Squad, whose main duty was to fetch seven senior officers of the Army: General Abdul Haris Nasution, Lieutenant General Ahmad Yani (Minister/Commander of the Army), Major General Soeprapto (Deputy II/Administration), Major General M.T. Harjono (Deputy III/Planning and Development), Major General S. Parman (Assistant I/Intelligence), Brigadier General D.I. Pandjaitan (Assistant IV/Logistics), and Brigadier General Soetoyo Siswomihardjo (prosecutor general of the army). The task force was led by First Lieutenant Doel Arief under the command of Colonel Abdul Latief, the commander of Infantry Brigade 1/Jaya Sakti.

In addition to Pasopati, the G30S troops were also divided into the squads of Bimasakti and Pringgodani. Bimasakti, consisting of five-company troops each from Battalion 454 Diponegoro and Battalion 530 Brawijaya, was sent to Jakarta to participate in the parade of Armed Forces Day on 5 October. These groups were assigned to do the territorial operation, seizing the control of vital objects such as RRI Station and State Palace in Central Jakarta.

Meanwhile, the reserve troops Pringgodani (which was named Gatotkaca in the official version of history) had the largest number of troops and was responsible to defend the command base in Halim Perdanakusuma Air Force Base, as well as in Lubang Buaya, East Jakarta. Pringgodani consisted of one battalion of AURI and Base Defense Force (Pasukan Pembela Pangkalan) along with several volunteers.

<div class="flex-content-podcast"><figure class="img-left"><div><img src="https://assets-global.website-files.com/61af270884f7a0580d35618e/621db9b9ecf4fc65259adbce_Intersection%205.jpg" alt="img"></div><figcaption></figcaption></figure><div class="img-right"><div class="podcast-container"><img alt="person" class="entered loaded" data-ll-status="loaded" src="https://assets-global.website-files.com/61af270884f7a0580d35618e/621db9b45e74f1d71580b1ec_Intersection%206.jpg"><div class="audio-podcast"><audio controls controlsList="nodownload"><source src="https://d220hvstrn183r.cloudfront.net/premium/yang-siap-mati-untuk-bung-karno/Donatus-Donny-Pak-Nas.mp3" type="audio/mpeg">Your browser does not support the audio element.</audio></div></div><div class="caption"><span><b>Donatus Donny</b><br></span></div></div></div>

Soelemi himself was ordered to fetch General Nasution, who was given the code name "Nurdin". This group whose specific target was to fetch Nasution was headed by Assistant Second Lieutenant Djahurup from Tjakrabirawa Regiment.

During the operation’s planning stage, Soelemi clearly remembered he was not given any special instruction. The central mission of the operation was solely to "fetch" the targeted person, who in his team’s case was General Nasution. To Soelemi, the command was never a concern since Tjakrabirawa had the authority to bring someone to appear before the president.

Find Mr. Nas, dead or alive, and bring him to Sukarno, because the country is in peril. That was the exact order given to Soelemi.

According to Donny Sheyoputra, a military history observer from Indonesia Defense University (Universitas Pertahanan), the raid on Nasution's house was in fact not meticulously planned. The operation leader, enclosed Donny, was actually not Djahurup. This led to his assumption that the squad led by Djahurup was actually a reserve group.

"There was actually another figure charged to lead the operation to kidnap General Nasution, but that figure never came so we never know who that person is until now. The leader position was ultimately given to Assistant Second Lieutenant Djahurup," said Donny.

This speculation was in line with the witness of Manai Sophiaan, former ambassador of the Republic of Indonesia to the Soviet Union in the 1960s. In Kehormatan bagi yang Berhak: Bung Karno tidak Terlibat G30S/PKI, Manai Sophiaan said that the squad ordered to carry out the G30S operation was not present during the preparation in Lubang Buaya village. The absent squad, which was said to be from AURI, was initially the team responsible to fetch General Nasution. On the other hand, the reserve group led by Djahurup had one shortcoming: they were unfamiliar with the operation field, whereas every other squad had surveyed their targeted field of operation beforehand.

Exactly at 3 am on 1 October 1965, the squad commanded by Djahurup started to move from Lubang Buaya to the residence of General Nasution on Jalan Teuku Umar 40, Menteng, Central Jakarta.

The squad assigned to fetch Nasution, as Soelemi recalled, was transported by three trucks and two jeeps. Consisting of one platoon of Tjakrabirawa troops, they were prepared to be the attacking squad while the other troops were responsible as a support or security force. The time allotted for them to effectively conduct the operation was only 20 minutes.

However, the squad that was supposed to fetch Nasution mistakenly went to the residence of Deputy Prime Minister II Johannes Leimena near Nasution’s house. One of the security police in Leimena's house, Aipda Karel Sadsuitubun, foresaw the arrival of the squad and resisted their attack, costing him his life. Albeit their fatal mistake that led to an innocent man being killed, they resumed their mission to fetch General Nasution.

<div class="quotes-center font-g text-align-center">"Everyone knew who Mr. Nas was. That's why, I assume that the one who took Pierre was from a community organization (Pemuda Rakyat)," – Soelemi</div>

Fetching Nasution

Upon arriving, Tjakrabirawa troops seized the guarding officers in Nasution's house and captured all of their weapons. The officers were taken into a room in the guarding post and were locked inside. Instead of using violence, Soelemi said, the guards were conquered through verbal persuasion.

"Our commander Assistant Second Lieutenant Djahurup said the officers didn't resist because our arrival there was the direct order from President Sukarno as the highest commander-in-chief," said Soelemi.

Having the guards under control, the Tjakrabirawa troops besieged Nasution's house. Soelemi, Private Hargijono, and Corporal Soemardjo rushed into the front room of Nasution's house. Soelemi proceeded to twist the door latch and found out that the door was not locked. He walked forward and knocked General Nasution's bedroom door gently.

"Ethically, as I was about to see a general, I must control my behavior. Despite the occurrence of the political dispute, I still respected him as an Armed Force Chief of Staff," said Soelemi.

Several seconds in, they heard a sound of someone opening the door. But, to their surprise, the door was abruptly slammed and locked again. Soelemi froze. His military instinct said that their target would resist, thus instructing Hargijono to force open the door by shooting its latch.

A series of shoots from Hargijono's sten gun were fired, deafening the cold night. When the blasting finally stopped, Soelemi kicked the door and went inside the bedroom. They found Johanna Sunarti, Nasution's wife, standing in the room six meters from them while holding her youngest, Ade Irma. Johanna’s body was trembling with shock.

As Soelemi remembered, Ade Irma was severely injured by the bounced bullet from Hargijono's sten gun when they broke open Nasution's bedroom door. Soelemi argued that the narrative included in the official history, which mentions that Ade Irma was shot by Tjakrabirawa troops, was essentially wrong.

"When I was in the room, there wasn't any crying sound. We heard the sound only after we left the room," said Soelemi.

However, in Donny's account, the aftermath of a bouncing bullet won't be as deadly compared to a bullet that was intentionally shot. The bullet marks carved on the door indicated that the shots were pointed to the bedroom door. There wasn't any bullet that bounced except on the wall inside of General Nasution's bedroom.

"What happened to Ade Irma indicated that she was likely directly shot rather than struck by a bouncing bullet. The door was the shot target, and when it was open, they found out the bullet had hit her," said Donny.

Nasution himself was not captured by the troops and managed to escape the raid by leaping over the wall next to his house. It was his aide, First Lieutenant Pierre Tendean, who was falsely captured and brought by the troops.

As recorded in the official biography Pierre Tendean Sang Patriot: Kisah Seorang Pahlawan Revolusi edited by Abie Besman, Pierre was ambushed by Private First Class Idris and Djahurup. The two then asked the disarmed guards in the house, "Is this General Nasution?" The guards remained silent even though they all knew the man was actually Pierre. Not long after that, a troop dispatched to pick up the operation forces blew the whistle signaling the end of the operation.

Inside the house, Soelemi and his two colleagues immediately went outside and ended their search for Nasution.

Soelemi doubted that the abduction of Pierre was done by Tjakrabirawa troops. He claimed that every troop of Tjakra was already familiar with General Nasution. Furthermore, Nasution was a man in his 40s; there was no chance he would be mistaken as a young man in his 20s.

"Everyone knew who Mr. Nas was. That's why, I assume that the one who took Pierre was from a community organization (Pemuda Rakyat)," said Soelemi. Soelemi claimed that he did not know much about the involvement of civilian troops in the operation.

With Pierre being captured, the team supposed to fetch General Nasution eventually left Menteng and returned to the G30S base in Lubang Buaya. They arrived when the sun had risen in the skyline.

In Lubang Buaya, Soelemi spent his time resting while awaiting the other squads to arrive at the location.

Soelemi witnessed how the kidnapped generals were executed in the dug well. He denied that there was a cavalcade and a torture parade involving the generals as depicted in the Pengkhianatan G30S/PKI film. The shooting of the generals, according to Soelemi, was the decision of discussion between the movement leaders such as Untung and Latief.

"That decision was then carried out by the executor from the Air Force. I still remember that the executor was a sergeant major. I was next to the well, near the banana tree. When it was almost morning, General Prapto seemed to be alive," said Soelemi.

Thereafter, Soelemi, along with the other Tjakrabirawa troops, remained in Lubang Buaya awaiting their next instruction.

<div class="strect-width-img"><figure><div><img src="https://assets-global.website-files.com/61af270884f7a0580d35618e/621dcfea700c96f9722d4d57_ade%20irma.png" alt="img"></div><figcaption>Diorama in The General Abdul Haris Nasution Museum. (Fernando Randy/Historia.ID)</figcaption></figure></div>

On the Run

The Pasopati troops tasked to fetch the generals stayed in Lubang Buaya until 2 October 1965. There was a rumor that the Army elite forces would launch an attack on the troops.

Major General Suharto, commander of the Army Strategic Reserves Command (KOSTRAD) who overtook the command of the Army, issued an instruction to attack G30S headquarter in the area of Halim Perdanakusuma. The circulated rumor regarding the counterattack grew stronger following the news of the kidnapping of the Army generals. With things escalated uncontrollably, the force of G30S dispersed and scattered across different places.

Soelemi was instructed to join the troops in Central Java. "After the broadcasting (regarding the Revolutionary Council declaration) by Colonel Untung in RRI which was responded by Mr. Harto, we started to retreat. Some went to Jatinegara, but most of us fled to Central Java," said Soelemi.

The report on the escape of the Tjakrabirawa troops to Central Java was received by Deputy Commander of Tjakrabirawa Colonel Maulwi Saelan. In his memoir Dari Revolusi 45 sampai Kudeta 66: Kesaksian Wakil Komandan Tjakrabirawa, Maulwi recollected how First Lieutenant Doel Arif, who was in a panic, brought his troops in a long march with Central Java as their destination and went back to Banteng Raiders base in Srondol, Semarang.

With no possession but his Tjakrabirawa uniform, Soelemi embarked on his escape during which he saw many of his kind surrendered themselves, while the others stayed in their hiding. Along with Karsum, his colleague in Tjakrabirawa, Soelemi continued walking to the east.

In Ciledug, East Cirebon, Soelemi took the clothes of a farmer he encountered to conceal his identity. He offered some money in exchange for the clothes but his friendly gesture was refused by the farmer, forcing Soelemi to use his pointed gun as currency. After changing his clothes, and therefore his identity, Soelemi discarded his Tjakrabirawa uniform and weapon.

"I was fully aware that I had chosen the wrong path. However, I believed it was not my fault, and I thought I deserved to be alive," said Soelemi.

Upon his arrival in Cirebon, Soelemi was welcomed by the Regent of Cirebon who was also one of his acquaintances.

On his run, Soelemi often got suggestions from people to surrender himself. They said that his safety would be guaranteed if he decided to meet Major General Suharto. Also, the members of Battalion I KK troops who were involved in the G30S incident had surrendered themselves one by one. They who turned themselves in, said Maulwi Saelan in his memoir, were taken by the personnel team of Tjakrabirawa Regiment to be handed over to the authorities. Soelemi, however, was concerned with the lives of his mother, wife, and 40-day-old daughter.

Unlike the rest of the troops under the leadership of Doel Arief who went on a run to the east, Soelemi returned to Jakarta instead. He wasn't planning to surrender. Supported by a travel document issued by his friend the Regent of Cirebon, a PNI figure who was once escorted by Soelemi during the celebration of PNI Anniversary in Senayan, Jakarta, Soelemi took his family from Jakarta to Cirebon. From Cirebon, Soelemi brought his family to his hometown in Purbalingga.

After ensuring the safety of his family, Soelemi started to contemplate his next move. He realized that living on the run would be a huge burden to his family. Soelemi himself knew very well that he wouldn't be able to escape the legal consequences that had awaited him. It occurred to him that after all, there was no other choice but to surrender.

That decision became more certain as he heard that his brother, a police officer, was held hostage to lure him into surrender. Karsum, Soelemi's companion on the run, had also turned himself in.

At last, Soelemi came to the Indonesian Military District Command (KODIM) Purbalingga to surrender. For two months, he was imprisoned in a cell of the Military Police of KODAM Semarang as a custody, along with the other prisoners who were suspected as a part of PKI. From Semarang, Soelemi was sent to Jakarta. After three days in Guntur Prison, Soelemi was moved into Military Prison (RTM) Salemba to be investigated.

"I was constantly beaten there (in Guntur). I remembered a first lieutenant of the military police corps (CPM) from Ambon beat me while saying: 'he is one of Sukarno's minions' before punching me again," recalled Soelemi.

<div class="video-content"><video class="lazy entered loaded" controls="" controlsList="nodownload" data-src="https://d220hvstrn183r.cloudfront.net/premium/yang-siap-mati-untuk-bung-karno/Soelemi%20Tjakrabirawa%2003-ENG.mp4" width="100%" data-ll-status="loaded" src="https://d220hvstrn183r.cloudfront.net/premium/yang-siap-mati-untuk-bung-karno/Soelemi%20Tjakrabirawa%2003-ENG.mp4"></video></div>

Suffering in Salemba

In RTM Salemba, Soelemi was frequently interrogated by the central inspection team. They wanted to dig up Soelemi's involvement in the G30S incident. During the interrogation, Soelemi was being entirely honest that his actions were nothing more than to obey his superior's commands. Soelemi emphasized that he just wanted to fulfill his duty to protect the great leader of the revolution, which was also his responsibility as a member of Tjakrabirawa.

"Mr. Harto as the commander of KOSTRAD must have understood the Soldier's Oath and Sapta Marga. An insignificant soldier like me would just wait for the order from the superiors," said Soelemi.

On his last inspection, Soelemi was forced to admit himself as a communist, which he expressly denied. He preferred to be executed rather than identifying himself as a member of PKI.

"If they forced and tortured me to death to make me say that I’m a communist, I would never say a word because I'm not a communist, that's for sure. I am a TNI, I am a soldier," said Soelemi firmly.

Instead of getting sympathy, more severe torture was coming his way. His toe was put under the desk leg while an officer sat on it. His body was dripped with burned rubber sandals. Sometimes, he was also electrocuted until his body fell to the ground. He always went back to his cell after the horrifying inspection with blood gushing, and sometimes, with a stretcher to carry him.

"These were completely crushed," said Soelemi, showing his broken toes.

The Military High Court convicted Soelemi as a part of the G30S and sentenced him to death.

<div class="quotes-center font-g text-align-center">"Salemba was the actual hell. I was treated basically like an animal," – Soelemi</div>

Soelemi accepted the verdict. To him, the honor as a soldier comes from either to fight in the battlefield or to die on a duty.  "I was keeping my oath as a Tjakrabirawa soldier, which is to die first before Sukarno does," said Soelemi proudly.

Although he personally accepted the conviction, Soelemi made an appeal based on his attorney’s suggestion. The death sentence was then altered into life imprisonment.

From the beginning of his imprisonment until the determination of the court decision, Soelemi was languishing in the prison of RTM Salemba. "Salemba was the actual hell. I was treated basically like an animal," said Soelemi bitterly.

For months, Soelemi stayed in an isolation room in Block N, which was notoriously called a "submarine", as it was designed to avert any escape plan possibly existing. In a cell that was only broad enough to sleep and defecate, all Soelemi could do was to sit and lie down. The cramped room didn't even give him enough space to stand freely. He was starving all the time, to the point he had to drink from the sewer or even his own urine. From time to time, Soelemi fed on sewer rats, lizards, or house geckos that he could find in the corners of his cell room.

It was also during his time in Salemba when Soelemi made the decision to separate from his family. It was in 1968. His wife later remarried a police officer in Purwokerto, unabling Soelemi to take care and raise his own baby daughter.

A more humane treatment was experienced by Soelemi only after he was moved into Correctional Institution Pamekasan in Madura, East Java, as a political prisoner.

There, Soelemi had a chance to learn fine arts skills, particularly in making sculptures. The knowledge of fine arts was taught to him by the artists from Indonesian Academy of Fine Arts (ASRI) who were also imprisoned in Pamekasan. These skills supported Soelemi's life after prison.

In October 1980, after 15 years, Soelemi finally smelled freedom. He was one of ten political prisoners with life imprisonment sentences who were eventually released by the government due to international pressure.

Soelemi's Hope

Soelemi was definitely luckier than the other troops of Tjakrabirawa who were involved in the G30S. Some of his colleagues, including Private Hargijono, were executed by a firing squad. Corporal Soemardjo, on the other hand, was sentenced to life imprisonment. First Lieutenant Doel Arief and Assistant Second Lieutenant Djahurup both mysteriously disappeared. After a series of tumult, Tjakrabirawa Regiment finally disbanded.

Despite that, the trauma struck Soelemi forever. His harrowing experience as a political prisoner often comes back to him as a nightmare. Every now and then, Soelemi woke up from his sleep with a scream of horror.

"It's like I'm about to be killed or beaten to death," he said.

Following his release from the prison, Soelemi practically became an exile. He was dishonorably discharged from the military. All soldiers included in the criminal category of Group A which consisted of people directly involved in G30S, got their mark of service revoked. Soelemi was one of them.

<div class="flex-content-podcast"><figure class="img-left"><div><img src="https://assets-global.website-files.com/61af270884f7a0580d35618e/621db96cd343dd26511b441e_Intersection%209.jpg" alt="img"></div><figcaption>A member of Policewoman Brigadier from Tjakrabirawa. (Repro)</figcaption></figure><div class="img-right"><div class="podcast-container"><img alt="person" class="entered loaded" data-ll-status="loaded" src="https://assets-global.website-files.com/61af270884f7a0580d35618e/621db96b6dbc0b0bea5bb5ba_Intersection%2010.jpg"><div class="audio-podcast"><audio controls controlsList="nodownload"><source src="https://d220hvstrn183r.cloudfront.net/premium/yang-siap-mati-untuk-bung-karno/Soelemi-Penyiksaan-di-Penjara.mp3" type="audio/mpeg">Your browser does not support the audio element.</audio></div></div><div class="caption"><span><b>Soelemi.</b><br>Former member of Tjakrabirawa. (Historia.ID).</span></div></div></div>

He was only left to survive with his art and sculpting skills acquired during his time in prison.

Once, he relocated to Jakarta and worked menial jobs for years as a gas station attendant and head of cleaning staff. His longing to stay at his hometown made Soelemi return to Purbalingga and spent his old age there with Sri Murni, his second wife, and a son.

In his neighborhood, he was entrusted as the chairman of the neighborhood organization (RT) for 14 years. After that, Soelemi retired and decided to enjoy the rest of his life with his family.

Soelemi fathoms that his youth had been stolen by the political game orchestrated by the elites who were beyond his reach. He asserted that he was completely innocent. However, it is not rare for him to hear many people scorn him for his past actions. Soelemi has no other choice but to surrender to his fate, because it is the only way to make peace with himself as well as his dreadful past. His only hope is for the history to be written fairly and to include witness from a lowly soldier like him.

"There must not be any lies woven into the truths told to people. If I lied so I could be called a decent person, I would bear the responsibility to the Almighty God," said Soelemi. His eyes then wandered as if he was trying to divert his sadness from the past.